Miscellaneous

How to Know When You’re Getting Old (and a Woman…. and Hire Me to Take Photos at Your Wedding!)

I had the great pleasure of attending a family wedding over the weekend, and now that I am mostly recovered, I’ve had some time to reflect. After unpacking my bag (and all the little bags inside) and viewing the photos I took, I have come to realize that being a woman and maybe getting older (but just a little) can be arduous things, especially when it comes to a full night of family wedding fun. Here are some of the signs that you might be getting older (and/or a woman):

  • When you are packing an overnight bag for ONE night in a hotel, and an entire makeup bag is filled only with medicines, “just in case.” Ibuprofen for a hangover or any other aches/pains, meclizine (a family favorite!) for avoiding falling down/vertigo when you’re not even drinking yet, aspirin (in case you or someone else thinks they’re having a heart attack), chew-able pepto, prescriptions.
  • When you’re too senile to realize you should have just combined all of those medicines into one small bottle.
  • When you have hip pain on the day after.
  • When two days later, your hip pain is actually just some kind of bizarre muscle soreness in only your upper quadriceps and your first thought is that it’s because the toilets in the venue and hotel room seemed really low to the ground and the “crouching” situation is more difficult with heels on (sorry if that’s TMI, but this is a real thing that women suffer). The reality is that it’s probably just due to rising up from your chair 237 times in the span of a few hours (and perhaps you also had a few more drinks than you should have had).
  • When you pack three different bras and 3 pairs of shoes, one pair of which was specifically purchased for this occasion
  • When you don’t end up actually wearing the shoes you specifically purchased for this occasion
  • When you pack a hair straightener and a curling iron, and another makeup bag chock full of cosmetics, even though you have already done your hair and makeup.
  • When you completely forget how to use the camera which you purchased for your Italy trip just a few months prior. You forget that you have it set so that your pictures won’t turn out blurry, which means that you have to depress the button once lightly and then depress the button completely. Your mind and finger-function memory revert back to an old sucky camera you had, which also took blurry pictures (what’s the common denominator here, Catherine?), for which you were supposed to depress once and wait a second. Result:

 

  • When you don’t realize that just switching to the “video” button on the “new” camera means that it is automatically taking the video.  You would think that “VID” on the screen would be an obvious sign of what was going on, but instead, in your old age, you believe that you have to depress the shutter button in order to record (like your old sucky camera).  This means that you have multiple .02 second videos.  Result:

Thankfully, I had my phone which I could use to take other only slightly blurry pictures as well as videos which lasted longer than .02 seconds.

In the end, and to be fair, you don’t have to be “old” to feel a little poorly after a night of celebrating with family/friends/maybe more than just a few drinks,  And honestly, it’s probably more the fault of the “maybe more than just a few drinks” rather than the whole aging process.  I’m not sure whether I should blame old age or the drink for my bad camera skills, but I’m not too old to remember the following conversation on the dance floor:

 

Me:  I don’t even think I’m using this camera right— I think everything is coming out blurry, what the heck!?!

Eric:  Well, at least it will be an accurate representation of what you were seeing when you took the pictures!

 

So, maybe it was the drink.

Anyway, that was my revelation for the weekend.  Also, this is my formal apology to those of you who didn’t make it into my Facebook post because your pictures were too blurry.  

 

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