Ah yes, it has been a while my friends! So, to ease you back into the joy of reading my wisdom-enriched posts, I thought I would start with a light and fluffy piece regarding some random recent and yes, ridiculous notions.
I was driving in the car recently, and suddenly, an announcer was urgently asking me, his rapt audience, if I was tired of having sweaty palms. It turns out, in fact, that I do not suffer from this malady, but I was transfixed, nonetheless. He went on to commiserate about the fear of shaking another’s hand, of destroying important documents (!), etc. He then went on to assure me that a cure was at hand (heh). Introducing, “The Center for The Cure of Sweaty Palms. ” I looked at my radio, which, as an aside, is an XM radio, so it shows on the screen exactly which channel/song/advertisement is currently playing, to see if I was tuned in to one of my comedy stations. Surely, I thought, this must be a “funny” advertisement from some troupe of actors or comedians. It was not. It was for real.
Now, anyone who knows me, and who knows anything about the world, knows that I automatically made a reference in my head to The Ministry of Silly Walks.
Of course, I am not trying to downplay the situation of traversing life with such a debilitating condition, I’m sure it’s quite awful. But I really do think that this “Center for the Cure…” could have at least used some sort of scientific word in its title. I’m not sure if their inference is that folks with hyperhidrosis are not intelligent enough to understand the scientific-ness of their condition, or if it was just a really lazy person who christened the building/office/whatever, but, for Pete’s sake.
On a similar sigh-inducing glance at the world of medicine, in particular, pharmaceuticals, I only pose one question: Is it truly necessary to indicate, in the 2 minutes worth of warnings (in a 3 minute advertisement), that one shouldn’t take XYZ if one is allergic to XYZ? Okay, two questions: Have we really gotten to that point?
And lastly, which is completely unrelated to my other two observations, I ask, are “convenient resealable” packages really that great? I don’t think I’ve ever been successful with ripping the sometimes-perforated-sometimes-there’s-a-convenient-tab-either-way-I-rip-too-little-or-too-much-or-have-to-use-scissors-which-isn’t-convenient-at-all openings. Even the large bags with pull strings, I only have a 50% success rate. Sometimes there are minutes of internal discussion while examining the top of said packages, as to where exactly I should be tearing, in order to keep the resealable part fully functioning…. surely it can’t be that far down, it’s too close to the seal…. is there a dotted line that I’m missing here?…. is there a picture of scissors? I don’t know if I’ve just gotten weak in my old age, or if it’s just too new-fangled for my brain, or if it’s really just another way that we’re all being duped, but I call shenanigans here.
Of course, maybe if my palms weren’t so sweaty, the task would be easier.