How To Kill Your Mom (not literally, of course…)

Bring home one of these:


Then insist the following:

  1. Dog licenses are unnecessary, and no one has ever gotten stopped by the police for walking around with a  Pit Bull.
  2. That you and above animal can live comfortably in the garage, because even though the landlord says “no dogs,” the dog won’t actually be in the apartment.
  3. That it’s negative to only be concerned about the bad things that could happen, like pet illness, pet attacking someone, pet going into heat, pet having the misfortune to be a breed that is widely feared and unaccepted in society.
  4. That the cat which has been living with you for 11 years is being a jerk when he hisses at “puppy” who could snap its neck in one quick move.

In addition:

  1. Make sure that your mom is an absolute bleeding heart when it comes to all animals, and know that it’s going to kill her to call “the pound” unless  you find a no-kill shelter, which you certainly haven’t looked into because you think your mother is going to cave in.

Yes, folks.  If you thought your kid bringing home a kitten was bad, try a seven month old Pit Bull.  Let’s add to the fun and make sure that the dog has been ousted from its original home (and may or may not have papers), cries and won’t leave your side because it is likely petrified it will be deserted, is actually a good dog thus far, and no one is likely to ever adopt it due to the fact that it’s a Pit Bull.

Currently searching for parents to adopt one 19-year old male child (mostly housebroken), and his 7 month old female companion.  Serious inquiries only.

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