So, here’s the funny thing. I’ve been thinking about this post for a few days now, and consequently was also thinking about the title. Now, before you expose your cat claws, let me tell you something (Missy). I actually had quite the argument going in my head regarding the title, because, for one thing, it’s such a snobby, silly thing to say. Additionally, this post has absolutely nothing to do with me or my personal “beauty,” or lack thereof. It’s about how we (females, I’m talking to you) sometimes react to “beautiful” women.
My internal argument about the title should give you a glimpse into the content of the post, because in my head I was thinking, “I better not use that title because I don’t want people to think that I think I’m beautiful and this is going to be about me because while I’m not ugly, I’m not necessarily beautiful and even if I was I certainly wouldn’t say anything about it or entitle a post as such.”
This post isn’t about me, but what did you presume when you saw the title? I almost didn’t use it, because of those presumptions. But, as it turns out, I found the title kind of clever, in a way, because it says much on the surface (and the “surface” is what this is about, eh?), but it says waaaay more underneath; in implications, presumptions. I could have entitled this post “Presumptions,” but I guess I prefer subtle trickery.
Anyway, that was a way long intro.
I used to work with two ladies who I would affectionately refer to as my “supermodel” friends. They were each at least six foot tall, skinny, long-haired, lovely; one blonde, one brunette. The brunette also had the great fortune to be Russian, and thus, had a sexy accent to add to her mystique.
Anyway, apart from the fact that I felt like a stumpy old ugly lady whenever I was in their presence, I was also introduced to the world of Beautiful People and the admiring Male populace…. annnnd the catty, mean, green-eyed Female populace. You know how, in movies, they show those slow-motion scenes when a beautiful woman walks into a room, and pretty much every head in the place turns to see? I’m here to tell you, it doesn’t just happen in movies. It’s happens in REAL LIFE, folks. Well, for the Beautiful People, at least. Men were literally (I’m actually not exaggerating, for once) tripping over themselves when in the presence of these Beauties.
Now, fortunately for me, I’m mostly secure in how I look, and I’m not a stumpy ugly lady (I am getting old, so I left that one out), whether I’m in the presence of supermodels or not. If I lingered too long in their presence would it lessen my chances of being approached by Brad Pitt? Sure. But maybe he’s looking for something different that day. Who knows?
Anyway, I had a few conversations with one of these friends, and we were discussing the “almost” obvious fact that the ladies in the office were “mean” towards her. It wasn’t imagined. I told her that I honestly believed it was based on the fact that not only (a) she looked like a supermodel, but also (b) because she was very intelligent, thus, giving them no fodder for ridicule (the ultimate double threat).
It was kind of a weird assessment of things, and a strange realization on my part, but I truly felt that her Beauty was the problem. Which leads me to more recent events.
I overheard a conversation between two women regarding someone they had seen, and the conversation was less than pretty. It was a dressing down of a particular female, how “she thinks she’s all that,” how she shouldn’t be wearing “ho” shoes, how she actually has a fat butt/is “fat”, etc. Now, I think I knew to whom they were referring, as I had also noticed this particular female. I had thought, “ooo a pretty girl!” when I saw her, admired her clothing choices (in my head), and yes, I noticed that she wasn’t a size 2. But she wasn’t a size 32 (not that that should matter) and I thought she looked great.
And there it is, folks.
Why, why, why do women feel the need to cut other women down? I mean, what gave other women the impression that this particular female “thinks she’s all that?” Because she does her hair and makes herself look attractive? Has she walked past them with her nose in the air or looked disdainfully in their direction? I’m betting not. Presumptions were made based solely on her appearance.
We, as women, already do enough internal criticizing, and isn’t it great, we have a worldwide audience of critics to add to the chatter!
So, if you’ve ever caught yourself traveling down the negativity highway upon viewing a Beautiful Person, I want you to think before you presume. What if this female was your daughter? What if this female was someone who struggled with weight/disfigurements/personal tragedy all her life, and was finally coming out of it and celebrating Life? What if this female was really just a normal, friendly, giving and caring person, who happened to be blessed with some good outside genes?
I think it’s “human” to feel jealousy at some point in our lives, but when we use it as a focus to publicly try to even the playing field, it makes your world and mine a pretty un-beautiful place in which to live. I’m tempted to use the glass houses reference here, but I won’t.
Point is: Think before you think, Ladies.