Dear Lady/Guy Who Beeped at Me Yesterday

Learn the damned rules of a rotary/roundabout.  In case you didn’t know, you’re supposed to yield to the folks who are already IN the roundabout.  Since there was a car IN the roundabout (who I would have crashed into, if I had listened to your #$*@^(@!(%$ beep), I had to wait.

I also noticed that after I gestured and glared in the rearview mirror (it was a “whatsamatta with you?!” gesture, not the finger; don’t worry, folks), you drove about 10 miles under the speed limit.  If you were avoiding me, that’s okay, but if not, from what I could see, you are a $hitty driver.

Also, Dear Driver Who Was Driving 20 m.p.h. at 6:40 This Morning:  The road we were traversing never has a section with a 20 m.p.h. speed limit.  Never.  It’s either 40 (where we were) or 30.  20 m.p.h. is too slow, unless you are passing a school.  There are no schools on that road.  I looked.  Unless you count a karate school and a school of dance, which you don’t.  Don’t drive 20 m.p.h., ever, unless it is 2 a.m. and I am not on the road.  Save that crap for a time when people aren’t actually trying to get somewhere.  If you were having a heart attack or were lost, you should have put your blinkers on.  And even then, you shouldn’t be doing either of those things during a morning commute.

And lastly, Dear Not One But Two Idiot Drivers Who Passed On the Right With About a Hairlength of Room to Get Into My Lane, Within 5 Minutes of Each Other:  (a) You’re not supposed to do that.  You got stuck behind the slow guy, tough sh-t.  (b) You might have maimed or killed various people  (c) You are inconsiderate jerks and I hope that each of you suffers serious bouts of diarrhea and 3 consecutive sleepless nights due to the overwhelming guilt you are experiencing.

Listen, people.  If you don’t know how to drive, or how to not kill someone with your vehicle, don’t be on the road in said vehicle.  Ever.  Go be a moron somewhere else.

There, I feel better now.

This post was for you, Patti.

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